Todd had never had a dream.
He has always tried to do his best and left himself be dragged to where that would bring him. He didn't felt special or that he had accomplished anything, but his efforts made others happy. His efforts were recognized and people invested on him, so he didn't really worry about the numbness.
Todd got overwhelmed, because it wasn't normal right? Everyone had something they wanted to do, something they loved and that made their chests float with giggles and their laughs melodic in the air. That feeling that would steal the ground of their foot, only to give them the whole sky. Warm and sweet, and gentle.
Todd was left in the dark, angry and jealous of everyone else, he relished on his efforts, on his accomplishments. He believed that was everything he had and there was nothing he could do but work hard and succeed.
That was his happiness. When he could get the higher, the better, the most wanted. When he touched the warmness in the tip of his finger, while the closeness to the sky of gentleness appeared to him, like an illusion, too cruel to leave, and too taming to let go.
But Todd didn't always succeeded, and even if it wasn't a big deal, it started to make him sad. Not because it felt important, but because that was the only warmness Todd has ever had, and the feeling of having it taken from him, permanently or not, scared Todd.
One day, Todd found something he really liked. Something warm, and fuzzy and soft, gentler than anything Todd had ever had. It was beautiful, and Todd felt, for the first time, that he fitted in. Even if it wasn't recognized like the efforts he used to get some consolation off, even if anyone thought it was worth it, Todd loved something for the first time. A full and hard kind of love, a fulfilling one.
Then, they made Todd chose, between his love, and the temporary warmness that others seemed so happy about.
And Todd chose the empty warmness.
Scared of his love, scared of this 'expectations', and truly, without actually understanding the whole reason, Todd let go of his love. He promised himself he would come back for it, but he knew it wasn't true. He said 'See you later' when he knew it was a 'Goodbye'.
But Todd didn't cry
He went to the dark again, making efforts again, and thriving 'expectations' that would only rise and rise even more, any, each and every day. And then, when the time came, Todd realized that the warmness that sometimes would touch his finger tips was long gone, and that the dull happiness was no longer there, that the dark swallowed him, piece by piece, day by day.
Todd realized that letting his love go was a mistake
And only then, he cried.